Matthew 10:36
And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.
Matthew 10:36: "And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household."
In Matthew 10, Jesus sends out the twelve with instructions about mission, warning them about the cost of discipleship. verse 36 crystallizes a sobering reality: allegiance to Jesus may fracture family loyalties. The wording—“a man’s foes shall be they of his own household”—reflects rabbinic idiom and general wisdom of honor and division within kinship when values clash. Jesus is not promising perpetual enmity in every family, but acknowledging that faith in Him may expose conflicting loyalties: those who resist the Kingdom may oppose or persecute those who embrace it. In first-century Israel, family identity was tightly woven with religious loyalty: honoring father and mother, keeping Sabbath, practicing purity laws. Following Jesus often meant re-evaluating inherited norms, which could provoke conflict at home. The verse appears within Jesus’ broader instruction about discipleship costs, including mission strategies and priorities (rankings of allegiance, mission money, the urgency of proclamation).
This verse foregrounds the cost of discipleship: Jesus demands ultimate loyalty that can disrupt earthly relationships. It highlights the bifurcation between allegiance to God’s kingdom and allegiance to family reputation, tradition, or comfort. The tension exposes the supremacy of Christ over cultural and hereditary loyalties, while not denying the importance of family. Theologically, it points to the transformative divide between old and new covenants: the Kingdom of God reorganizes centers of allegiance. The message also foreshadows the split that will characterize the early church: communities formed around Jesus often stood in tension with surrounding familial and social networks. It invites faith that trust in Jesus can realign even painful family dynamics toward greater obedience, prayerful witness, and redemptive love.
Practically, this verse encourages honesty about loyalties. When family pressures pull you away from following Jesus, you’re invited to seek Christ first without dehumanizing relatives. For example, a young adult choosing conscience and biblical values over familial pressure to conform—whether regarding sexuality, honesty at work, or social practices—can still honor parents by listening, explaining, and praying. In households where devotion to Jesus creates conflict, prioritize dialog, seek community support, and practice grace. The core is not rejection of family but reordering loves toward God’s kingdom, trusting that obedience to Jesus often leads to greater harmony in the long run as hearts align with truth. Practical steps: pray for peace in relationships, maintain respectful boundaries, share your faith with gentleness, and involve trusted mentors for guidance.
Cross-References: Luke 14:26; Mark 3:31-35; Micah 7:6; Psalm 69:8; John 15:18-19.